My sheets look like a crime scene.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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