Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
