If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
