I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
