You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
