I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
