THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
