3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
