she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
