so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
