I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
