If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
