ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Bring me that man meat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
