As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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