I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
