Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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