Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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