I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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