Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
