i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
