Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
a search helicopter?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
