i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
