So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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