PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
