You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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