just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
