Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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