OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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