they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
