i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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