There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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