He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
