then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
