God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
