Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
