I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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