You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
