and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
