The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
