Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
