ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
