I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
