My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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