My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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