bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
