It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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