Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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