Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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