i was born a porn star she said
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
