How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
